was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize