you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
