did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
