She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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