At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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