he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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