i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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