just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
