I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My ass is underappreciated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
