I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
