You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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