Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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