I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize