But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
