two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
