he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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