Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
