Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
