benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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