Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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