dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
