I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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