you win again, gameday.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
