I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
