More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
