so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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