Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
