so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
