My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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