The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
