So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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