I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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