need another drink. this is the easiest way
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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