Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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