i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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