Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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