Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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