no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
