does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
