I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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