wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
