im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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