I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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