You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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