So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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