The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
