I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
