His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
