dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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