I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
