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You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
