ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
