Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am naked and annoyed.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
