i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
