i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
