Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Life is so much better after having sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
