So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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