Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
