Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
