glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
