The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
