Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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