I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
