We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
