Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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