okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
