Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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